There are certain threads of connection that weave hearts together in a dance of love and understanding. For me, this was found in a touching reunion I had with my six-year-old grandson, a moment that tugged at my emotions and stirred the depths of my soul.
Walking up to his school, the air electric with anticipation, I awaited the moment that would reunite us. As I laid eyes on him, his face lit up with recognition and joy, and in an instant, time seemed to stand still. He ran towards me, and our embrace spoke volumes, a language of love that transcended words.
Our bond is special, forged from shared moments of laughter, making movies, reading books, whispered secrets, and unfiltered honesty. It’s a bond that defies explanation, rooted in unconditional love and mutual respect. In his presence, I find a mirror reflecting back the essence of life’s simplicity and beauty.
It’s a bond that defies explanation, rooted in unconditional love and mutual respect.
There’s something magical about the connection between a grandfather and grandson. It’s a blend of wisdom passed down through generations and the fresh perspective of a child. Together, we navigate the world, each learning from the other in a dance of give and take.
Picking him up from school was not just a task; it was a journey back to our shared memories and the promise of new adventures. In his innocent gaze, I see the purity of a soul unburdened by the world’s complexities, and it fills me with hope.
As we walked hand in hand, I pondered on the essence of our bond. Perhaps it’s the shared laughter, the stories told, or simply the comfort of knowing that we are there for each other no matter what. Whatever it may be, it’s a bond that transcends time, distance, and circumstance.
As we walked hand in hand, I pondered on the essence of our bond. Perhaps it’s the shared laughter, the stories told, or simply the comfort of knowing that we are there for each other no matter what.
Reuniting with my grandson reminds me of the beauty of simple connections and the power of love to bridge generations. In his laughter, I find joy; in his eyes, I see the promise of tomorrow. Together, we journey through life, guided by a bond that is as timeless as it is profound.
May this weekend reunion serve as a reminder of love, illuminating the path ahead with warmth, wisdom, and the enduring bond that ties us together — grandfather and grandson, united in heart and spirit.
Let me encourage you to seek out and embrace the moments that matter, cherish the bonds that bind, and revel in unconditional love that knows no bounds.
Photo Credit: Jeremy Pue, Whitewater Productions. “A Road on Keats Island”
The photo above is one of the few roads on Keats Island and where our Better with Age retreat will be held. I love how the image draws you forward, but you do not know where it goes once you’re deeper into the forest. I do know that this road does come to a point where you have to make a decision to go right or go left.
It has been my lifelong commitment to inspire souls to lead, to find strength in their convictions, and to empower their steps with unwavering confidence. Now, as I reflect on the inevitability of my own aging, I recognize the need for those skills to adapt and endure. That is why I joined my dear friends, Dr. Paul Pearce and Dr. Paul Stevens, who taught a course at Regent College called “Aging Matters,” based on Stevens’s book. This is also why my wife Glenda, Paul and I are facilitating a retreat for Baby Boomers in partnership with Barnabas Landing called “Better with Age.”
Better with Age allows Baby Boomers to delve into matters of calling, spirituality, and legacy in retirement. In this environment, we want to be encouraged to continue to discern our purpose as we grow older and remain meaningfully engaged for the rest of our lives. We want you to better understand this season of life and reframe retirement as a time of continued calling and productivity. Better with Age points to biblical wisdom that can help us redefine aging as an extraordinarily fruitful season of life.
The Fork in the Road – Acceptance or Denial?
I found myself, much like you might have, standing at a metaphorical fork in the road. One path, worn by the countless footsteps of the courageous, is the thoroughfare of acceptance—a road where we acknowledge the reality of our age with clear eyes and a full heart. The other path is denial, coated with the veneer of youth—a tempting detour that leads one into a mirage, away from the weight of years and the truth they carry.
Choosing the road of aging is far from waving a white flag; it is an act of courage. It’s an uprising against the fear of irrelevance, a bold declaration that our sunset years can be as enriching as the dawn of our youth. Here, real love flourishes, the kind that endures beyond transitory feelings—a resilient garden blooming from the seed of commitment nourished by actions and deeds.
Guidance Through the Uncertainties of Aging
Allow me to impart some guidance drawn from years of whispering courage into the hearts of leaders, many of whom struggle in the twilight of their careers:
Acknowledge Change: Recognize the transformation in your body and mind as a natural progression of life, not as an enemy to be contested but as a companion on your journey. This acceptance paves the way for peace and prepares the arena for untapped growth.
Invest in Healthy Living: We must learn and practice skills to maintain vitality. Prioritize wellness, engage in activities that nourish your body, and cultivate habits that anchor your mental health. Remember, well-being is a discipline, not a mere stroke of luck.
Cultivate Lasting Bonds: True affection stems from the roots of shared experiences and weathered storms. Commit to your relationships, be they professional or personal, and watch as affection deepens into a resilient bond that time can only strengthen, not wither.
Legacy of Leadership: Aging as a leader bestows upon you the rare opportunity to reflect not only on successes but also on the wisdom harvested from trials. Pass down this legacy. Mentor the young, ignite purpose in their endeavours, and gift them with a compass that points toward integrity and authentic living.
The Virtue of Adaptability: In a world that glorifies perpetual youth, be the voice that champions adaptability. Model how one can simultaneously honour the past and gracefully evolve to adopt new perspectives, skills, and roles.
Forks and Roads – A Personal Anecdote
Like you, I, too, encountered this fork. I was living the “Life of Carson,” as my doctor once told me, and on the road of denial, thinking I could do everything I have always been able to do. Well, that is not true anymore. Now I chose the road of aging—the less-travelled road, and I am learning about new things and seeing how God still has purpose for us as we age. I accepted the graying of my hair as a crown of wisdom, and although my family DNA does not seem to flood my top with grey, I do see more than I did last year. The new lines on my face are etchings of both joy and sorrow, borne with equal grace.
What changed my perspective? In 2022, I spent three weeks in a hospital ICU. I was having a multitude of tests done on my heart due to an incident. That experience caused me to face, with some evidence, that I was getting older. To be honest, I fought it, but in quiet moments, while resting in my hospital bed, I realized I was entering what I now call the third period of the hockey game and with no promise of overtime. I came out of the hospital with an ICD, and a different lifestyle. This choice to accept my getting older has not been without its struggle, but it has been illuminated with an authenticity that actually makes life even better.
What road are you on? Pause. Reflect. Then, stride forward, knowing that you do not walk it alone. We all are learning lessons. My insights and yours are like lanterns left to light the way for others. May they guide you to lead with conviction as you inherit the mantle of your twilight sage.
In closing, remember readers, the roads we select will wind and weave differently for each of us, but the horizon is shared—the dusk of our days. As the Scriptures share, we do not number our days, but we can choose how we will live them. Aging is neither the end of the road nor the cessation of influence; it is a continuance, a testament to the lives we’ve moulded, the leadership we’ve inspired, and the legacy we leave behind.
Lead on, not despite your years, but because of them.
Remember when we thought growing older was all about retirement and finding the perfect pair of reading glasses? Well, it turns out there’s a bit more to it than that. Let me reflect on some of the surprising realities of aging that our younger selves may not have anticipated. Aging is a natural process that everyone goes through, but it can pose significant surprises. Let me share some of my observations.
Changing Life Perspectives
As we age, our perspectives can change. This concerns me, as I hope it does not see me starting to like country music I have avoided my entire life. But, coming back to the point, I was wanting to say that things that once seemed monumental now seem insignificant, and vice versa. It’s as if we’ve been given a pair of new spectacles or a new vantage point that allows us to see what truly matters in life. And let me tell you, it’s not the latest electric car or the size of our houses. It is actually all about relationships with family, friends, our faith community, our peers.
It is important for us to build into our lives a time to get perspective on this whole aging season. To stop, to study, to talk about getting older. Let’s be good mentors and pass along to those following behind us what we are experiencing as we age.
Let’s face it: with age comes an assortment of physical challenges we never signed up for. The knees get sore, and the back isn’t as forgiving as it used to be; we can’t run fast – or perhaps can’t even run. We also end up taking medications we never even thought of when we were younger. I smile when out with my friend Bob, and our watch alarms go off at the same time, reminding us to take our pills. Our laughter over this allows us to at least keep a sense of humour about it all.
New Mental Wellness Battles
As we age, we often face significant life changes that can impact our mental health. These can include retirement, the death of loved ones, increased isolation, and physical health issues.
Retirement, for instance, can lead to a loss of identity and purpose, especially for those who found significant meaning in their careers. The death of friends and family members can bring on grief and loneliness, while physical health problems can cause stress and sometimes depression.
Furthermore, older adults may also experience cognitive decline, which can lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. In some cases, it can even result in dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
Growing older can feel like stepping into unknown territory without a map. We grapple with questions that would’ve boggled our younger minds. Our older minds do not seem to work as quickly as they once did, and you notice changes in your memory or recall. There is much more mystery than we considered. But here’s a secret – it’s okay not to have all the answers. There’s a certain beauty in the mystery, and each question we ponder brings us a step closer to understanding God and ourselves better.
Existential Questions
With the passing of time, we become more aware of our mortality. We are all going to die. This awareness often leads us to ponder the bigger questions of life. What is our purpose? How do we want to be remembered? What will be said at our funeral? How shall we live our remaining days? While these questions may seem daunting, they also offer an opportunity to reflect on our lives and to remember there is still time to make meaningful changes.
Spiritual Insights
Our spirituality deepens and widens as we age. We may discover new insights from scripture we didn’t see before because they now resonate with our experience and life stage. Often, we are drawn to the solitude of familiar rituals of our faith, like quiet prayer and Bible reading. Embrace and savour these moments as they can serve as guideposts and guardrails on your aging journey, providing direction and inspiration every step of the way.
Growing older is an adventure filled with unexpected twists, turns and surprising revelations. The Baby Boomer demographics show there are so many of us out there in this particular stage of the journey. I refer to it as the third period of the hockey game, and if you are not into hockey, that means it is the last period of play with no promise of overtime. There is empirical evidence showing that those who think positively about aging often live longer, healthier lives. So, let’s do all that we can to embrace the surprises of aging with a cheerful heart and a hopeful spirit.
Better With Age
Barnabas Landing, Keats Island, BC
Remember that we’re not just growing older. We’re growing wiser, more compassionate, and more resilient. Each day is another opportunity to learn, to love, and to leave a mark on the world. So, let’s cherish each moment, each memory, and yes, even each pill! After all, we’re like fine wine, getting better with age.
This is why we named our April retreat for Baby Boomers “Better With Age.” Please consider coming to join Glenda and me at beautiful Barnabas Landing, where we can talk about these and other common themes of aging. It will be three nights in exquisite lodging, chef-prepared meals and a sense of community and laughter that will live on long after the retreat.
You will find all the details here at Barnabas Landing. Hope to see you there.
From My Chair 